Sunday, 4 September 2016

My Travel Anxieties


I love travelling but I am a nervous traveller. I travel by train generally everyday to work and I have to travel to Leeds every other week to see the rest of my team. This is all fine. I know the timetable like that back of my hand. I can get from London to Leeds, without even looking up from my phone. Get me heading to the airport and I turn into a complete mentalist.

I have big issues with getting to the airport and not being late for the plane or even late for the pre flight browse around the airport. Missing a flight is my utter worst nightmare.  Near death nightmare. There are obviously worst things in the world to happen to you but I have a absolute fear of missing a plane. Maybe quite irrational and I have no idea where it comes from. 
To be clear I am not scared of flying in the slightest. Actually love it. Feel like a little girl every time we take off, it always amazes me how it all happens. I know it is all physics but still wonder at it all.

Recently, we were on the way back from New York. Last day of the holiday and my anxiety started to flair up like a little monster in my stomach. Flighting back at about 8pm, we left Manhattan about 5pm in a taxi and of course hit rush hour. What would have been a 30 minute journey turned into a 1hr 20. by the end of it I was a mess. We were stuck in traffic and every stop and start of the car, it felt like a knot was tightening in my stomach, making me feel sicker and sicker. Constantly looking at my phone for google maps and seeing how far away we were from the airport.

I opened the car door before it had stop as we pulled up to the airport, sprung from my seat and had to stand propped up against a wall to calm down. I felt so hot, sick, all because of my anxiety and all because of a so scarred of missing the plane.

My boyfriend thinks that I am a utter crazy person. He has travelled so much for work it is second nature to him. He understands how long it will take you to get to the airport, how long security will take and knowing that browsing around the shops is a waste of time. I still force him to get to the airport super early for my "just in case" something happens scenarios. We have to come to an agreement on what time we leave, literally working on 15 minute negotiations. "We'll leave at 11:30"......."Mmmmm, No. Can we do 11:15.......Please!"

We are off on holiday again in a couple of weeks and I am trying to address the issues I have, Talking myself out of thinking that this is a problem and taking alot of Kalms. We will have our "What time are we leaving" argument as usual I am sure. But I do need to keep myself in check. Fingers crossed!

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